My children have accomplished so much this school year.
So did my baby boy.
He made it into heaven.
Sweet memories are all I have of Bradley.
He was the most innocent child one could imagine.
This picture makes me laugh.
And this one makes me miss his afternoon naps in my arms.
After Bradley passed my Mom's coworkers gave us a gardenia tree.
Today I was outside thinking about what to do with the back yard
Today I was outside thinking about what to do with the back yard
and I noticed a large, white, full bloom on the tree.
The first one.
The smell was amazing and reminded me of the sweet smell of Bradley's head.
I had the kids come and smell the flower.
And I noticed many more buds on the tree as well.
Bradley was so white and so pure.
White became a recurring theme in his life.
I suddenly became a fan of the color after his birth.
And now his white blooms are filling the air with his fragrance in my back yard.
And I want to tell you something else;
something that gives me comfort and makes me know he is an eternal being.
He and I still communicate!
Not the way we used to.
No more kissing or roars or hugs.
We send each other secret messages!
(I know that probably sounds crazy to the masses)
But I know he and I still have a very alive dialogue.
I leave little reminders of him every chance I get.
And he sends me sunsets and flowers and sky-scapes,
and other things too precious to mention.
And I'm keeping those things tucked in my heart.
And I carry my secret child with me always.
And no one can tell he's with me, but he is.
Always.
This poem was shared with me shortly after Bradley passed.
It's a special one.
The White Rose
All the earth's mothers were gathered together at God's Garden of flowers. Those beautiful budding spirits who would someday come to earth were nurtured and tended in the garden. A loving Father spoke to the Mothers, "See the works of my hands. Someday you will be the mothers to these radiant spirits." The garden glowed with the mixture of all kinds and colors. "Choose ye", he said.
Now in the east corner of the garden, pure White Roses stood as sentinals. They were not as colorful as the rest, but they glowed with a kind of purity which set them apart. one by one the mothers stepped forward. "I want the blue eyed, curly haired one, who will grow to maturity and be a mother in Zion." Yet another chose a brown eyed, brown haired boy, full of life and love, who would someday be a prince in a grand country. The garden buzzed with excitement as the others chose their speical spirits. Those whom they would soon welcome into the love and warmth of an earthly home.
Once again the loving Father spoke. "But who will take the White Roses? The ones in the East corner of my garden. These will return to me in purity and goodness. They will not stay long in your home, for I must bring them back to my garden. For they belong to me. They will gain bodies as was planned. You will miss them and long for them, but I shall personally care for them."
"No, not I." many said in unison. "I couldn't bear to give one back so soon", "Nor I.", said others. "We will take those who will remain and grow to maturity and live long lives." The loving Father looked out across the multitude of mothers with a longing in his eyes for someone to step forward and speak, Silence!
Then he said, "See the most pure and perfect of the white ones? I have chosen Him. He will go down and be a sacrifice for all mankind. He will be scorned, mocked, and crucified. He is mine own. Will not any one choose like unto him?" A few mothers stepped forward. "Yes, Lord I will." Then another, "Yes we will Lord." Soon all the pure White Roses were chosen and they rejoiced with their mothers. The Father spoke again, "Oh, blessed are ye who chose the White Roses. For your pain will be a heavy cross to bear. But your joy will be exceeding, beyond anything you can understand at this time." The White ones embraced their mothers, and so full was their purity and love, that it filled the mothers souls with such endearment that each knew she could endure the task.
And the greatest of the White ones gathered them as a hen gathers her chicks, and the outpouring of love surrounded each mother and child, consuming them as He prepared them for their task. And each mother who bore the weight of a White Rose felt the overwhelming love of God, as they all shouted, "Thy will be done."
All the earth's mothers were gathered together at God's Garden of flowers. Those beautiful budding spirits who would someday come to earth were nurtured and tended in the garden. A loving Father spoke to the Mothers, "See the works of my hands. Someday you will be the mothers to these radiant spirits." The garden glowed with the mixture of all kinds and colors. "Choose ye", he said.
Now in the east corner of the garden, pure White Roses stood as sentinals. They were not as colorful as the rest, but they glowed with a kind of purity which set them apart. one by one the mothers stepped forward. "I want the blue eyed, curly haired one, who will grow to maturity and be a mother in Zion." Yet another chose a brown eyed, brown haired boy, full of life and love, who would someday be a prince in a grand country. The garden buzzed with excitement as the others chose their speical spirits. Those whom they would soon welcome into the love and warmth of an earthly home.
Once again the loving Father spoke. "But who will take the White Roses? The ones in the East corner of my garden. These will return to me in purity and goodness. They will not stay long in your home, for I must bring them back to my garden. For they belong to me. They will gain bodies as was planned. You will miss them and long for them, but I shall personally care for them."
"No, not I." many said in unison. "I couldn't bear to give one back so soon", "Nor I.", said others. "We will take those who will remain and grow to maturity and live long lives." The loving Father looked out across the multitude of mothers with a longing in his eyes for someone to step forward and speak, Silence!
Then he said, "See the most pure and perfect of the white ones? I have chosen Him. He will go down and be a sacrifice for all mankind. He will be scorned, mocked, and crucified. He is mine own. Will not any one choose like unto him?" A few mothers stepped forward. "Yes, Lord I will." Then another, "Yes we will Lord." Soon all the pure White Roses were chosen and they rejoiced with their mothers. The Father spoke again, "Oh, blessed are ye who chose the White Roses. For your pain will be a heavy cross to bear. But your joy will be exceeding, beyond anything you can understand at this time." The White ones embraced their mothers, and so full was their purity and love, that it filled the mothers souls with such endearment that each knew she could endure the task.
And the greatest of the White ones gathered them as a hen gathers her chicks, and the outpouring of love surrounded each mother and child, consuming them as He prepared them for their task. And each mother who bore the weight of a White Rose felt the overwhelming love of God, as they all shouted, "Thy will be done."
