Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Prepare A Way

....for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.
Doctrine and Covenants 84:88

When I first saw Bradley, I felt so unprepared for him.
But I now know, looking back, I was prepared!
And he and I, have somehow made our way together.
And now, I know, that everything I have done in my life prepared me for him.
He is my defining moment.
I recently have become acquainted with a friend who's son has a rare chromosome syndrome.
He was delivered early because he was falling into the 10th percentile for size.
They had known early in the pregnancy that he had a cleft.
They had known he had a syndrome.
They were unsure what his challenges were going to be exactly, because his syndrome is so rare.
And they took him c-section.
Because they didn't know if he could handle the birth.
And after he was born his face was perfect looking.
Upon further inspection they realized he did not have a roof in his mouth.
And he was choking on his tongue.
And so they performed a tracheotomy within 12 hours of birth.

And as we all know, my baby was in the womb for 44 weeks.

And his doctors have looked at his pallet and said how high it is.
And remarked that it may have formed late.
I'm pretty sure EVERYTHING formed late with Bradley.

He takes extra time to grow outside of the womb too.

And I'm so grateful I let him take the extra time it took.
Most kid with syndromes have heart and lung problems.
And an OB will never admit that there is a possibility that inducing a woman is a bad thing.
But it can be.
And I think there are more effects from being induced than we understand at this moment.
Really inductions have only been happening for the last 20 years or so.
And they continue to happen, so that OBs can control the situation more.
But I am not convinced they are the right thing for women and babies.
And Bradley still has not convinced me of that.

For a time, some of Bradley's nurses and my
OB were telling us that Bradley's problems were a result of going overdue.
Never met a person who had a thyroid problem because they were overdue!
Never met someone who had neurological aspiration because they were overdue.
Never met someone who had seizures because they were overdue.
Being overdue is more a symptom than a cause, for Bradley.

Pretty sure your great grandma didn't have her babies on her due date!
I'm sure back then, a due date was more like a due-ish-about time.
Women said things like "I'm due in the Spring."

And a baby like Bradley would have died 100 years ago.
He would have died 50 years ago.
Genetics is changing.
There are more rare syndromes that children are
 living with because technology is keeping them alive!

Bradley and I have landed on uncharted territory.
And I hope that OB care, by the time I die, will have chilled out with the induction thing.
I have hope for a day when we understand that women
and babies benefit from letting the body do, what it does.
It is such a natural thing, if we let it be.

I will forever be grateful for the home birth movement.
At the very least, Bradley's home birth allowed me to bond with him in a way that I couldn't have,
had he been born in the hospital and then whisked away to the NICU.
After he was born we laid in bed together for two weeks and nursed.
Something that my friend and her son, never had the opportunity to do.

I will ALWAYS cherish those memories of Bradley and me.
And I think it was those memories, that helped him to live.