Thursday, December 18, 2014

Bradley's Christmas Bears

A few weeks ago, I had a dream.
And in the dream a voice asked me if I could make stuffed bears from
 Bradley's Clothes for the kids for Christmas.
And I got very excited when they asked.
I told them, I knew that I could.
I can make anything out of anything. 

And I woke up and searched the internet for a pattern.
And I pulled down Bradley's bucket of clothes 
and Tom asked what I was doing.
And I told Tom the idea.
And Tom confirmed that would be a meaningful gift for the kids.

Today I finished the bears.
And the last one was the hardest.
I smelled the shirt again and again.
I thought about all the times when Bradley wore that shirt.
In our last family picture.
How little and big he was in that tiny shirt. 

And as I cut the pieces apart,
I suddenly didn't want to do it.
But I heard a voice say to me,
"Make something useful from my clothes. 
Don't let them just sit in that box. 
The kids will love these bears."

I've realized that I heard Bradley's voice in that dream and today in my craft room. 
I didn't recognize it because, 
I've not heard it much.
His voice sounds like a cross between Tom's voice and God's voice. 

I have hope that my biggest dream will come true someday.
That I will see my big, strong boy. 
And hear his voice again and again.
And he and I will laugh and talk for hours. 
And I will hug him and he will be able to hug me back. 
And we will finally be able to take a complete family picture again. 
And every hole will be filled.