Wednesday, August 31, 2011

My Broken Baby

I was feeling lots of stress and worrying about my broken baby
and Jacob's first day of school
and how Jacob would always remember his baby brother as
and having surgery on his first day of kindergarten and how much that sucked.
I couldn't sleep and I was lurking on blogs of mothers with children who had Down Syndrome.
And I found this quote:

‎"Christ is building his kingdom with the broken things of earth.
People desire only the strong, successful, victorious, and unbroken things in life to build their kingdoms, but God is the God of the unsuccessful – the God of those who have failed. Heaven is being filled with earth’s broken lives, and there is no “bruised reed” (Isa. 42:3) that Christ cannot take and restore to a glorious place of blessing and beauty. He can take a life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it a harp whose music will be total praise.
He can lift earth's saddest failure up to heaven's glory."
- J.R. Miller

I have thought that more than once these last six weeks!

And I worried that Jacob and Bradley would never really get to play together. 

And that Bradley might just become an angel in our efforts to fix his tiny body.
And again I KNEW, that that would be okay.
That we were sealed to him eternally and he would be ours forever.
And I would get to raise him sometime later.
And that I had done the best I could, and given him the body he came here to get.

 I knew that Jesus was there at the NICU with Bradley
and that he would be in his surgery the next day and would hold Bradley when I couldn't.