Saturday, September 29, 2012

Come What May and Love It

To watch my child struggle with his health is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
It is so unlike anything I imagined for any of my children.
 To say "at least we have our health", does not apply to us anymore.
I am struggling with one of the hardest challenges perceived by others.
I think about it constantly. How can I make Bradley better?
It consumes my every thought.
There is a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, when I imagine being him.
It seems so unfair to have these challenges at birth!!
And to have pneumonia month after month after month?
Oh, that makes me ache for him!
And when I am in the depths of my despair;
when my brain can hardly handle the thought of everything I have to do to keep him alive;
I feel pure love from our Heavenly Father.
Urging me onward and upward.
Like a pillar of light around Bradley and me.
Letting me know, it is going to be okay, no matter what!
I have this reassurance at least three times a day.
Pure love and light.
A blessed assurance.
And that is how I keep going.
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss.
That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way.
While it may not come at the time we desire,
the faithful will know that every tear today
will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."
-Joseph B. Wirthlin