Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I Can Do Hard Things

Bradley's seizures are not stopping.
We have added another med.
We are on a schedule to up the second med.
And the original med is going to be stopped if he transitions well.

But very often during the day he gets stuck.
And he does come back. But it is very scary for me.
And he has been sleeping 16 hours a day, because seizures are hard.
And he has a lot of secretions, which is common with his type of seizures.
And he chokes a lot.
We use the vest religiously!!
It's my only hope.
Neurological problems suck!!

And today I took the kids to the store to get Jacob some new pants.
All of his jeans have holes in the knees.
And we stopped and got a Slurpee on the way.
And it is a pain to unload my sweet boy just to go in for a second and get a Slurpee,
but those little bits of memories are what I need most right now.
What my other kids need too.
Bradley too.
And then we drove up the road to Kmart.
And the jeans were only $10.60 a pair!! SCORE!!
And everyone got some socks. Who doesn't love new socks?!?!
And chips too! YES!!
And we walked around gazing at Christmas things.
Looking at the trees and the lights.
And my children ran circles around me while I pushed the tiny man on oxygen.
And I hate it when my brain goes there,
but I started to think about this being my last Christmas with Bradley.
What if my fears come true?
This short journey with Bradley has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure.
And ironically it has taught me so much about perseverance.
I can keep going!!!
And I'm grateful for the inner strength that keeps on coming.
Perhaps it is the result of many prayers for us.
I do not know for sure.
But I know that there is strength, where I didn't know I had any.
I CAN do hard things!!
The last 16 months are proof of that.