Friday, January 11, 2013

The Hand We Were Dealt

We've been spending a lot of time at the neurologist's.
And a few weeks ago at our appointment,
 the nurse who took us back to our room and I were chatting.
She was telling me how much she liked my children's names.
Madeleine, Jacob, Charlotte, and Bradley.
And she was helping me maneuver Bradley's wheelchair through the office.
I told her it reminds me of my double stroller days, but that it was a bit easier to push.
She told me she remembered those days too!
She didn't look old enough to even have kids.
And I asked her how many she had.
She said she had three.
She said before she got her car, she would wake every morning 3 hours before work started
 to get her babies to daycare and herself to work.
She would walk to the bus in the cold.
3 babies piled in the double stroller.
And they would load the bus and ride for an hour to get to the daycare and then to work.
She said she really appreciated her car now,
although now she was getting fat, because she didn't have to walk as much :)
I told her that must have been a hard time.
She said she had done it to herself.
She closed the door, and I thought about how she was too young for it to be too much her fault.
And tears came to my eyes as I quietly thanked my Heavenly Father
 for my Honda Odyssey with DVD player and leather seats.
For being born to affluent white people who had jobs.
Life is so unfair sometimes.
To many of us, who are just going along, not anticipating a trial.
And then one lands in our laps.
We have had a horrible flu this week. I was delusional yesterday.
I was having dreams about CPS taking my kids from me.
And when Tom came home I told him to please call CPS
and tell them they could not take my children from me.
That I would die inside if they took Bradley.
Tom fed me and gave me some medicine and fluids.
And within an hour my sense were back.
I'm so grateful for ibuprofen.
And tonight I went to CVS to get Bradley's regular prescriptions.
And tissues, and Tylenol, and cough drops, and things for a family of 6 with the flu.
A cold front has moved into Vegas.
And parts of Las Vegas are seeing snow flurries.
And there was a teenage boy outside who was nestled against the cold exterior wall of CVS.
He had a sign he had laid down so he could eat something someone had given him.
He was devouring it.
He looked too young to be homeless.
And the pharmacist took FOREVER getting Bradley's prescription.
And by the time I got through the payment I realized
I had accidental pushed the button to get cash back.
I took the cash with full intention of giving it to the boy outside in the cold.
And by the time I got outside my heart sank when I realized he was gone.
I asked Tom, who had been sitting in the car, what happened to the boy.
Tom said he didn't know.
I had wanted to take him home, although I don't know if Tom would have let me.
This little Bradley bear has made me so sensitive to others in need.
I totally get struggles now.
Heavenly Father; I get it!!
I understand!!!!
Life is hard for so many and sometimes it IS NOT their fault!!!
Sometimes they are just kids who have been not dealt fair hands.
Innocent children.
And I am a lucky woman.
I have learned that.