Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bury Your Feet in the Sand

Bradley has been having tons of seizures since the beginning of November.
It started with 5-7 a day.
Now we are at about 20 a day.
It leaves little time for play or development.
There are days he does not roll, growl, or look at anything.
And most of his doctors appointments end on sour notes and a doctor with a furrowed brow.
I'm trying to ignore as much as possible the problems at hand.
And the holidays were a wonderful break.
And we were able to take all of our children to make memories that will never die.
And there were many times at Disneyland, where the reality of what I'm dealing with, hit me.
 I never knew there were so many rides with wheelchair lifts and wheelchair access.
And we had several workers extend a second round on the ride.
I was grateful.
 I felt lost looking for the exits of the rides.
 I know where every entrance is.
But not the exits.
And at first I felt a bit guilty not having to wait in very many lines.
But then I realized my kids have been through a tough time too.
And they don't have a normal baby brother.
And somehow it seems fair to let them skip the lines.

And the next day we woke up, loaded the car and started to head home.
And about half way up the 55, I told Tom I felt a need to take Bradley to see the beach.
And Tom turned around.
And we found a little spot in Newport.
And parking cost per hour, but the handicapped spot didn't have a meter.
It was the natural thing to take off his socks, and put his toes in the sand.
I thought about burying him in the sand, but I didn't want to get sand in his g-tube.
So I buried just his feet instead.
And I pushed hard on the sand so he could feel it.
That cold, soft, wet sand.
And the kids figured out they could bury themselves too :)

I've never enjoyed the beach, like I did that day.
I'm hoping that I can take Bradley to the beach 20, NO, 40 more times!!
And that my children don't know where the entrances are to the rides at
Disneyland because they are so used to going through the exits.
I'm praying that God grants Bradley and I a few more years.
Because I'm not done.