Future Fear

Last night we went to the temple.

A friend was going through for his first time and he asked Tom to be his Escort.

I was excited to go.

It has been too long.

I had an hour and a half before the session started; while he did his initory.

I went in and asked if they need help in the initory on the ladies side.

They had three names for me to do.

EVERY TIME I DO INITORY, I'M REMINDED OF MY OWN.

As I listened to the words of the temple workers, tears flowed.

On my day, long ago, I remember KNOWING that I WOULD bear children.

I knew that my body was a good body.

I knew that it would function like it should and that I would be a Mother someday.

And then each time I had a baby, I was reminded of that day.

The promise.

My body is miraculous.

I am so glad that I have had the experience of being a Mother.

What a beautiful blessing it is to carry your child in your tummy.

Then to bear them.

Then to raise them.

And I don't know what the future holds for ANY of them.

They all have lives ahead of them that I CANNOT plan.

And I'm having to accept that.

AND THAT IS SO HARD!
After being what I've been through with Bradley I'd really like to FEAR the future right now.


2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.


I have the POWER to overcome the fear that grips my mind and my heart.
 I really want to love and enjoy every moment of everyday with my little kids.
So I'm choosing to do so,
and as hard as it is,
I MUST!