Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Aspirating Again

Bradley was acting way better by Friday. I had given every med the pulmonologist had prescribed.

He had also suggested we stop feeding Bradley by mouth.
And I had.
But the weekend came.
And Tom helped me with Bradley while I made flowers for my exploding ETSY shop.
And on Monday's appointment the pulmonologist heard a wetness in his lungs.
And I called Tom and told him that he had proved my suspicions and that we now had more reason to believe Bradley was aspirating again.
And Tom promised he would stop feeding Bradley by mouth.

And this morning I decided to remove the nipples and rings from the spot where we keep the bottles so that we all were not tempted to feed him by mouth.
And I realized I only have three screw on caps for my bottles.
And I decided to go to the store to get some more
so that we all can refrain from using Bradley's mouth.
And the best ones are from Babies R Us. They are the tightest and never leak.
And so I decided to make the trip.
And when I got into the store, I felt like I was in hell.

Every aisle was covered with things Bradley cannot use.
Toys, rattles, spoons, nipples, bottles, bouncers, walkers!
And it made me sad to be there with everything mocking me.
Knowing that his babyhood is coming to an end and that I'm done having babies too.
And this is it.

And Charlotte wanted some over priced baby spoons and I caved and let her get them.
Even though I'm sure Charlotte will use them more than Bradley, I still wanted them.

All the hopes I had this year did not materialize.
Rates of development that make us non-consumers of baby products.
It's a weird feeling.

I am grateful I have had three very health and typical children.
I never realized how wonderful it was to have a typical baby, until I didn't.