Today, after church, Jacob told us that he remembered being with Bradley in heaven.
He told us that him and Bradley were playing Frisbee by a pond.
I told Jacob to tell us more.
And Jacob said he couldn't because he only remembered half of it.
It IS like they have know each other FOREVER.
Jacob cannot leave for school without hugging and kissing Bradley.
One day he came back, frantically knocking on the door
and crying because he had forgotten to say goodbye to Bradley.
And Bradley ALWAYS smiles when Jacob is near.
Tonight Tom and I have been talking about the possibility of Bradley having brain damage.
We have been talking about that first week when Bradley was unconscious and in the PICU.
AT THE TIME
we did not fully grasp what was going on.
I remember Tom telling me one night that they were just treating Bradley
because they HAVE to treat children who are admitted.
WE DID NOT GET IT.
I remember when the surgeon came and told us that Bradley could die
and him apologizing for being so direct.
That was a crazy night.
And the next day we asked Bradley's nurse if he was still sedated because he was not awake.
He was not moving or crying or anything.
And the nurse said he was not on anything that would make him calm.
She said that was "just him".
And the nurse, the next day, had been his nurse the night he had the emergency surgery.
And she came in and gave me a big hug and told me that she had gone home to her husband
and son and cried and hugged them very tight that night.
She had left at shift change before the surgery and thought that perhaps her patient wouldn't make it.
HE WAS IN THE PEDIATRIC INTENSIVE CARE UNIT!
HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS FOR A WEEK!
And although no one ever said the word, it was like he was in a coma.
One week later, after we had taken him to the hospital, I was in church.
I was listening to one of my most favorite hymns being sung by a good friend.
Come, Thou Fount
Bradley was still in the hospital; things unsure with him. Still unconscious.
I missed him and wondered why we were going through this and
knew that THIS trial was tuning me to sing Gods praise.
As she finished my cell phone buzzed with a text message.
It was my parents, who had stopped to see Bradley on their way out of town.
My Dad said that he was awake and that I needed to come see him.
I hurried down to the hospital and held him.
He was finally there with me again.
I hadn't seen the whites of his eyes for a week.
And Tom and I are starting to see that he's not developing like our other babies.
And we are starting to see that he has jerky, uncontrolled muscle and eye movements.
And we are starting to see that there is possibility of brain damage.
And I think, I'm starting to see it because I'm ready to,
but also because he should be growing out of these things and he is not.
AND I KNOW THAT I WAS FOREORDAINED TO DEAL WITH THIS.
As hard as this is
THIS IS and was WHAT WE WERE MEANT TO DEAL WITH.
I never imagined this. But this is it.
And I believe that Jacob and Bradley did play Frisbee by the pond in Heaven.
And that Bradley and Jacob knew that Bradley was going to have these challenges and so they were enjoying their time together up there in Heaven before they came and got their bodies.
And a few minutes after Jacob told us that, I heard him talking to Bradley about it.
And I heard him ask Bradley if he remembered it.
And I saw Bradley smile.
