I'm currently doing everything, I never thought, I would ever do.
When Bradley passed the swallow study I was so excited to give him liquids!
I came home, sat on the couch with him, mixed a 4oz bottle and put it right into his mouth.
To my surprise he didn't suck on it like I thought he would.
He actually pooped out after only 1oz.
I told him that this was the moment we had been waiting for; LIQUIDS!
But he didn't listen.
He was very fussy that day and didn't eat much.
By that afternoon I remembered what someone had said at some point.
Babies with fundoplications like Bradley, eat BETTER while being vented.
So I sat under my rubber band string, opened him up and TONS OF GAS escaped.
And then he chugged down a whole 4oz bottle!
He was HUNGRY and he hadn't burped so he couldn't suck!
I decided to hang rubber bands from more places in the ceiling
so that I could feed him sitting anywhere.
I still have the rubber bands up and use them daily.
When we are out, it is easier to give him a bottle in his car seat so that I can hang the tubbie on there.
It's a hassle!
And he doesn't get held as much as my other babies did
BUT HE HAS TO EAT!
We cuddle later.
He had to have his blood drawn today.
He has to have it done every month otherwise he will revert back to this boy:
I remember when I thought this picture looked healthy.
Perspective.
But anyway, the phlebotomist we got today was a jerk!
She wouldn't listen to anything I was saying about his sites being blown.
She used tourniquets on his every limb.
I was about to get up and kick her a** and
then I felt a sense of reason wash over me as I told her firmly,
"YOU ARE HURTING HIM!"
"This doesn't hurt" she quipped back!
I said LOUDLY, over his cries, "YES-IT-DOES!"
She finally stopped and got a lancet to do a heel prick.
By this point Bradley had lost it!
He was screaming bloody murder because he did not trust the woman.
She had touched him too much.
Reminded him too much of times before.
My big kids were in the waiting room with Tom.
They peeked around the corner into the space where we were.
Seeing their faces calmed me down.
They were all stair stepped and perfect looking.
And I looked down into my arms and saw my last little piece to my perfection and I knew that
ALL OF THIS CRAP
was going to be okay in the end!
As she filled the last vial and squeezed one more drop from Bradley's foot,
I thought about our Savior and him bleeding from every pore and how much pain HE felt.
And how his Father felt looking at Jesus and then looking back at US and knowing it would be OK!
What a marvelous plan it is.
How much our Father in Heaven loves us!
I think that was a great moment for me.
I saw a glimpse of eternity.
And I would have never seen that without Bradley!
NEVER
