Monday, February 27, 2012

The Special Dream

Yesterday we fasted for Bradley.
That he would be able to gain strength and control of his upper body.
I did really well.
I was hardly hungry.
By dinner time I was ready to eat;
but halfway through the meal I was stuffed.

This morning I woke up with the WORST stomach pains.
I thought I must have a stomach bug or something.
Bradley needed his blood drawn.
We can only do heel sticks and they can never get enough for the tests they need to do.
And so this is the 3rd time we've done it this month!
I had planned to take him in at 7am.
But I couldn't hardly walk my stomach hurt so bad.
So Tom took him for me. (Thankgoodness for Tom!)

I laid in the bed and tried to sleep, but my stomach hurt so bad, I could not.
When Tom got home, an hour later, I started crying when I thought about him going to work.
I told him I could not take care of the babies today without him.
And he called in.
He turned off the lights and shut the door and I finally fell asleep.

I had a dream that I came down to check on Tom and Bradley and Bradley was crawling!
He had the body strength that I so badly want for him!
And suddenly before my eyes he grew into a man.
He was short for a man.
We saw eye to eye.
I was looking at his face, which still looked young and happy and chubby.
I hugged him.
He was quite chubby.
I was looking at him. At his face.
He looked different than a normal full grown man.
Like he was a special person.
And he had a big crooked smile on his face.
And as I hugged him again, I whispered in his ear how much I loved him.
And I could feel how happy he was.
Even though he looked nothing like a typical grown man,
 I knew he was happy and

This whole experience of having this special needs child is
teaching me so many different wonderful things.
But most of all, that special people are special because they ARE!
They are happy.
They are never tempted.
They see God.
They have beautiful pure souls.

In the beginning I was so sad when the doctors said he might be special.
But I am not anymore!
And I'm as excited about his future as I am about any of my other kid's futures.
Even though I'm pretty sure Jacob's adult life will be different than Bradley's;
I'm still excited to see it!