Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Gaining Challenges

Bradley saw his gastro yesterday.
He has gained 5oz in three weeks.
But the gastro wants him to gain more.
He's pretty below the curve.
Gastro said to start him on 27 calories and see if he'll gain more.
When Bradley was released from the hospital he gained very quickly and was almost on the curve.
But now at 7 months and only 13 lbs the Docs think he could get back closer to the charts.
He is a picky eater.
If he gets overfull his fundo prevents him from spitting up.
And so he is careful not to do so.
The gastro has said we could feed him through his tube.
This fundo is really screwing us up!
I have told the gastro all of this.
And he just listens and nods his head.

So near the end of the appointment yesterday I asked
"So you believe me when I tell you I'm feeding him, right?"
The docs eyes got big "YES! I have never thought you didn't!"
(that meant a lot to me)
This is the same gastro Bradley had when he was admitted to the PICU.
He's known Bradley almost as long as I have.

I was prepared to defend myself, because I have missed so many opportunities in the past.
I give him his medication 4 times a day.
If I didn't he would die.
And if I have the energy to medicate him, you know I feed him!
Also his helmet and glasses are proof that he's taken care of.
Do you know how many appointments it took me to get and maintain those?
More than a few!

So I asked the gastro why he doesn't gain like normal babies.
The gastro said he doesn't eat like a normal baby.
He said most babies his age take 6oz on average.
Bradley has to be starving to take 4oz.
He told me to keep trying. Keep offering.
Keep dumping a little down his tube after he eats.
We also ordered the pump back to try to use at night.
I hate weight problems.
HATE them!

Our temple recommends expired in December and
 we have been trying to get in to see the stake president for a bit.
Tonight we finally got in!
President Petersen had talked to me in the hall one day when Bradley was in the NICU.
He knew of our families challenges.

And tonight when I sat down in his office, he asked about our baby.
I told him Bradley was doing great.
I told him he had a helmet and glasses and that we were working on him holding up his head.
I told him he was 7 months now.
I told him that we were waiting to get in and see the
geneticist because they suspect he has a syndrome.

President Petersen asked how I was doing with all of this.
With a big smile on my face, I said I was doing "GREAT!"
He looked surprised.

I explained:
 "At first it was hard because I was in such shock.
But I'm starting to really come to terms with this.
If he is special, which, according to the docs is worst case;
 I'm lucky to have a child who spiritually has made it.
A child who never needs to be tested in this life and who is guaranteed salvation
 would be a wonderful thing to have.
Don't you think?"

The stake president said "Well that's a great way to look at it!"

I said "I'm not going to let this get me down President Petersen! I'M NOT!"

President Petersen said "I know Bradley is going to be a great blessing in your life!
And someday, you are going to be blessed, so much, because of him!"

Goosebumps went down my arms as a tear escaped my eye.
I told him I knew that was true!
And I said "He already is!"